Is That You, My Love?
by Screamin-Whispers
Summary: Justine concocts a new Amnesia drink for her Cabinet explorations, but the potion brings about some unexpected changes. Will she embrace this new self and die at the hands of her lovers, or will she remain cold-hearted and stiff? Rated T-M for gore, language, and violence.
1. ALOIS

Of course going into the cell was a bad idea. The place reeked of blood and urine anyway, pulling open the bar door and stepping inside amplified the heady scent past palatable levels. She retched, covering her face with one delicate hand. And then she heard it.

"Is that you, my love?"

The young woman froze, her hazel eyes growing wide and a lump welling up in her throat. She knew that voice. She didn't know who it was, but the voice was tearingly familiar. She backed up until her body hit the icy stone wall. Cold light shone in through the open doorway, and the silhouette of a table rose in her vision.

"Is that you I hear?"

A dark haired head peered out around the stone doorframe. She held her breath as she spotted the pale figure across the room. The creature had an odd gait, and something large glittered around its neck. The thing let out a snarling growl, followed by a distraught moan as it limped into one of the other cells.

"Where did you go? Please come back." The voice implored again.

She couldn't see the creature anymore, but for some reason she knew that it was him speaking. And it was making goosebumps rise on her flesh. After a few moments of staring at the doorway through which the monster had disappeared momentarily, the woman turned her attention to the little table.

She had to stifle a gasp. Written in blood next to a scrap of paper were the words: _Forgive me. _It took a brief moment to strike a match and light the candle sitting on the table so she could read the note. The glow kissed her face, but she had no time to appreciate the light. She dove hungrily into the note, her curiosity overtaking her.

Alois? The name struck a chord within her, but she could not place the emotion. The note itself made her gut twist in fear, the man who was willing to kill and to slice himself to bits…for her? She was positive that the voice was his, and somehow she felt heartsick for this creature, this Alois.

So lost in her thinking, the young woman didn't hear the sound of chain-bound footsteps until a low moan sounded right behind her. She stifled a scream, whirling around and backing away. What she saw, however, left her dumbfounded.

A blonde man stood right across from her, his eyes puffy and glistening tear trails smeared across his face. He was shirtless, and his torso was covered in gashes and scars. He advanced on her, trapping her in the corner. Then he spoke with the voice of the monster.

"I waited for you, and you came back for me." He crooned, a dirty finger caressing the woman's jaw.

She spluttered, struggling half heartedly. This wasn't the monster, but he was nearly as frightening. He leaned closer and pressed his face to her neck, letting out a pleasured groan. The hazel eyed girl swallowed a frightened sound.

"Look," The blonde man demanded softly, pulling away and twisting his body slightly. His trembling finger indicated a raw patch of flesh near the dip of his lower back. "I wrote your name."

The man sounded pleased with himself as he displayed the shaking, still bloody script. _Justine. _It left the woman speechless. She let out a dismayed sound. He was obsessed with her; he was obsessed with Justine. What had she done to make him this way? She couldn't remember, of course, she knew that for fact the same way she knew how to breathe.

The slender man's face fell slightly as he examined her expression. "You….you don't like it?" He asked, a hopeless note creeping into his voice.

"No..I—"

Alois let out a strangled sound, and then seized her hand, forcing the point of her nail into the paper thin flesh of his chest. His grip tightened as she tried to pull it away.

"Please." He begged, his blue green eyes pleading beneath their puffy lids. "Write it for me; make it perfect. Like you."

Justine had no choice in the matter, despite his begging. He was pulling her hand, her fingernail across his flesh slowly, writing out her name again. His skin tore like rice paper, inhumanly thin. And the wails the man emitted were unearthly, Pleasure or pain, the woman couldn't discern. The expression on his face was rapture, but tears were streaming down his cheeks again.

Suddenly he released her hand. She'd closed her eyes in fear and disgust, not wanting to watch Alois tear his body up, and before she could even open her eyes he was on her again, pressing himself to her breast and kissing her. Stealing the breath from her lungs. His arms wrapped around her, and almost of their own accord her own hands found his back.

Her fingers traced the scars, how had he even reached his back to mutilate? And the scars were arranged in such a delicate pattern, whorls and flower designs, as if he'd spent months designing it. She could feel the warmth of his blood soak into her blue summer dress, and her hands froze suddenly as she attempted to pull away. His entire body went rigid, and his mouth pulled away from hers.

"No! Stay!" He yowled.

The wet sound of flesh shifting filled the woman's ears. She closed her eyes but she could still feel the man writhing. A hollow scream emanated from the body, and Justine shrank back. She chanced opening her eyes, but closed them right again when she was met by the form of the monster. The naked creature was covered in chains, and the glittering object around its neck was a wheel. The woman choked on yet another scream as the creature's fist struck the side of her head, jerking her skull to one side.

"Don't leave me again!" The Alois monster reprimanded her as he sent another spine jarring blow speeding for her head.

Justine let out a quiet wail as her body slid down the wall, blood dripping from her face. Before she lost consciousness she felt a hand caressed her cheek.

"Hush now, It's alright."

**A/N: Please do not tell me that Justine is out of character. There is a reason for that, keep reading and you will see~ **


	2. BASILE

Today the recording told her how to escape the first monster. The dark haired woman didn't particularly know why, but she did know that it wasn't normal. The twisting feeling in her gut told her than much. The feeling that something was…wrong. But she did as it told her, who was she to go against what the recording said. She pulled the lever straight off, not even bothering to explore the rooms.

"No, please!" The man begged the first time she pulled the lever.

She pulled it again and he began to cry. The dark haired woman's fingers were now moist with sweat. The recording had said that three pulls would do it, but now she knew what 'it' was. She had to kill this man to escape? The woman held her breath and tugged on the lever one last time, then covered her ears with her hands and ran for the ladder descending from the ceiling.

As she climbed, the regret filled woman took a last look at the cell where the man lay. She could see the form wriggling, a long pole protruding from its gut. She couldn't bear to think of the form as a 'he', as a person.

The pretty young woman ran pell-mell through the maze, fleeing the angry sounding growls that emanated from behind her. She jumped from a hole and plummeted. A cry escaped her lips as she grasped her ankle. She'd twisted it in the fall. Shaking fingers explored her bag, finding the bottle she was looking for. It was gone in a long drink, and the pain dissipated. She was feeling much calmer now too.

Killing the second man was easier. He'd told her that she was going to burn, which made her angry. With her pink flushed features screwed up with concentration and fury, she tugged the lever once, twice, a third time, listening to his wails as he was torn limb from limb. Then she ran her hands across the front of her red dress to dry them.

Upon passing through the secret doorway, behind a bookcase, the woman spotted another form trudging through the misty dark. Its groans were deep and angry sounding, and each clattering step was forceful. She backed into a corner, peering around it at the creature. It was bulky, and it had something around its neck that sparked a inkling of remembrance in the woman's mind.

"Yes, keep making those sounds." A deep voice floated to her ears.

The hazel eyed woman froze, and a small fear induced sound escaped her. She clapped her hand over her mouth, and the beast's body jerked in her direction.

"I have you now." The voice growled.

The woman bolted, her dress tangling around her legs. She could hear the chains wrapped around the monster's legs jangling with every step, rattling almost faster than her heart. Then she tripped over a rock.

A scream tore from her lips as she fell, landing face first onto the ground, but the pain was numbed slightly with the lingering effects of her laudanum. Which left plenty of room in her mind for fear. She tried to push herself up, but a hand caught the back of her dress and hauled her up.

A tall, broad man with a shock of reddish hair and beetle black eyes stared at her, venom dripping from his countenance. He laughed a sharp, short bark of triumph.

"You won't get away this time." He growled, but there was a certain softness to his words.

"No, please." The brown haired woman wailed, struggling.

Her words seemed to startle the man slightly. His brow furrowed and he tilted his head slightly to one side.

"Justine?" He asked, half spat.

"I guess, I don't know; just let me go, please." The woman, Justine pleaded, fear scrawled across her features.

"You bitch, trying to pretend your way out, aren't you?" The man's face hardened again as she shook the woman like ragdoll.

"No, really. I don't even know who you are." She wailed, her voice starting to pitch. "I just woke up here."

The face lost all semblance of anger. "You…don't know me?" He asked.

"No,"

Justine was lowered slowly to the floor, and she wobbled slightly upon trying to find her balance again. The red-head, who was a head taller than her, looked down at her; a broken looked crossing his eyes.

"I'm Basile."

"Basile." Justine chewed on the name quietly for a moment.

A horrific memory blossomed in her mind, forcing the air out of her lungs. She remembered forcing a hot poker into his eye sockets, blinding him. And she remembered other things too, taking walks with the man out in an unfamiliar garden, the ardor on his face when he looked at her.

"Oh, Basile, I'm sorry!" She cried out, falling against his chest.

The muscled man looked utterly surprised as his arms wrapped around her. He obviously hadn't expected such a reaction from the pretty young woman. She looked up at him, tears in her hazel eyes, and reached up, her hand brushing across his bearded face.

"I did horrible things to you." She said. He nodded in agreement.

They stood, embracing, for a few moments, and the man's head bowed, pressing into her gently curled hair. After a few moments, Justine began to pull away, remembering the point of her presence in this unfamiliar place.

"I must—" She began to speak, but she was too late.

Basile wailed as his body stretched, his clothing shedding from his body and angry red gashes blooming on his skin. A wheel sprung around his throat, and chains snaked their way around his body. Hazel eyes squinched open for a moment to see the eyeless sockets of his face and the blood dripping from them as if they were fresh wounds.

She only made three paces before his hand collided with the side of her head.

"You thought you'd get away, didn't you?"


	3. MALO

The woman was not entirely sure that she should trust the phonograph. It told her that this was a test, but then it told her how to escape two of the obstacles. Why? And it even went so far as to tell her about the creatures lurking, lying in wait for her, and how to escape them as well. And a man named Malo that she was to be looking for. And most importantly it spoke her name, which made her brain hurt just listening to. Her mind revolted against the idiosyncrasy. But there was nothing she could do about it.

The woman ran through the musty halls, and through the cells, jamming the lever repeatedly and flinching at every scream of the man she was slowly torturing to death merely to advance. The ladder dropped down and she scrambled up. Then she fled down the narrow passageway, not looking back for fear of being attacked by one of the monsters she'd been warned of.

In the library, among the morbid statues, she murdered a second man, who screamed wordlessly as she tore him apart using her safe little lever. Admittedly, it was easier to kill this man because she didn't have to watch him die. She could just hear the sound of his inner seams unknitting, and his limbs thumping on the floor. As it was, she had to suppress her gag reflex and flee again.

She snuck slowly past the next monster, the phonograph had informed her that this one was blind, and she ignored his words with some difficulty. When she'd made it to the other side, where the door was just in sight, she accidentally knocked over a chair, and had to run with all her might, screams emanating from her at top volume.

And then she was through. One more monster before she could make it to this Malo, who the phonograph had told her to speak with. After that, she hoped, this entire ordeal would be over and she would be safe. There was no way to possibly know, however.

Justine pushed through the door at the far end of the candle lit hall she'd paused momentarily in to recover from her fright. The door now facing her was waterlogged, and water filled the short stair. The woman pushed the door open and carefully stepped into the water. It weighed down her green dress uncomfortably, but it wasn't anything intolerable.

Searching around, Justine discovered that there were no trapped men for her to kill to progress. The only lever she could see was missing its handle. Perhaps she had to find the lever to continue? Water swirled around her as she splashed through the room, to one of the side doors. She bumped it open and stepped through. Aha! A lever!

With the lever in her hand, the woman wadded back to the metal machinery in which she would place her prize. She jammed it in and jerked it down. Nothing happened. No screams, no nothing. Justine frowned, the pulled the lever up with all her might. Then she froze.

A roar sounded, followed by another set of feet splashing through the water. Justine screamed again, her body going rigid with fright. She hadn't expected that at all. But she recovered after a few terrible seconds, and dashed through the door the lever had opened. The door remained open as she fled to higher ground, to a plateau in the middle of the room which was free of water.

Dithering, she looked this way and that, trying to decide where to hide from the beast.

"I see you." The monster proclaimed in a hauntingly sweet voice.

A morbid strain of giggles filled the air as the woman flinched, whirling around, but they stopped abruptly. Before her stood a tall young man, with longish dark hair and a sanguine smile on his face. Her eyes widened as he stepped towards her, catching her bird wings hands in his slender but surprisingly strong fingers.

"Justine," He said his green eyes overly bright. "My Justine, I've been looking for you a long time indeed. You came out, finally."

It took the dark haired young woman a few moments to comprehend that Malo was the slender snake-like figure before her. He whirled her around, and then pulled her into dancing across the little stone island gracefully.

"What took you so long, doll?" The man asked. His voice was low, but it was tinged with a sardonic playfulness. "I waited so long; I think I might have died at some point."

The woman laughed quietly, an uncomfortable sound. The man made her slightly nervous for some reason. Perhaps it was the tone of his voice. Gentle and light, but with a background spiny with something she just couldn't put her finger on.

"For a dead man you seem quite graceful." She returned hesitantly.

Malo laughed, his arm wrapping around her waist as he dipped her backwards, the gently curled ends of her chocolate locks dancing against the water for a moment. He was stronger than he appeared. His lips brushed her temple as he righted her.

"You seem out of sorts this afternoon, my lady. Where is your stinging arsenal of witty words?" The man inquired playfully as he spun her again.

"I seem to have forgotten them at home." Justine replied.

"Ah, that is no good. Perhaps we should share something other than words then?"

Malo dropped to the floor abruptly, tugging the woman with him. She squealed in surprise, but he caught her gracefully and settled the slender creature into his lap. He proceeded to explore the skin of her neck with his lips and teeth as if he'd never done such a thing to her before.

"I grow tired," He whispered suddenly against the delicate skin of her throat. "of my own flesh."

Justine grew rigid, looking the man over. She saw no tears in his skin, or bite marks, however, but the look in his eyes had lost its intelligent flicker, replaced by something much more frightening. Perhaps he meant his words figuratively; perhaps he meant that he was just lonely without her. She hoped so, at least.

The man leaned forward, his frozen lips brushing hers. One of his clammy hands tangled in her hair, and the other traced patterns over her goose bump ridden skin. He let out a wistful sigh.

"My Justine, she is beautiful." He murmured. "My Justine, she is delectable" His voice rose in pitch as he continued, "My Justine, let me taste you." a deranged cackle of laughter slid from his lips.

Justine flailed, trying to escape from the man, but his fingers on her hair were strong, even as he writhed and screamed, his body warping into that of the monster. His night dark locks dropped from his head, fizzling like the dying remains of a firework, and his eyes rolled back, dripping with blood as they disappeared into the darkness of his eye sockets as if melted.

The body of the woman was flung sideways, and her head dashed against the ground. Her eyes foggily closed as she saw the creature coming for her.

"I want you." He murmured as he fell to her prostrate body.

Sounds of hideous laughter and tearing flesh rang out in the water filled dungeon.


	4. 18 March 8 April

18. March 1859

Today I completed experimenting with my latest amnesia potion. As the other was growing inadequate, I happened upon a book in the upper Library. The methods detailed within were…unusual, but I had no trouble acquiring the ingredients I required. Perhaps the only difficult ingredient to acquire was the vitae. And the reason for that difficulty was my ignorance to the nature of this 'vitae.'

Upon further research, I discovered that I had the proper...setting to induce this vitae response in the human blood stream. Then my only difficulty was finding a secluded place to distil my collected blood. I feel that Clarice is growing ever suspicious of my ventures. Last month after I emerged from the basement she asked if she'd heard voices. If this continues she might have to join the voices down there. I will regret that day, she was a good servant, but I cannot have anyone discovering my cabinet.

I discovered early on that I could only distill trace amounts of these vitae from my guests, but luckily the recipe I discovered only required three drops per potion. When mixed with Damascus Rose it radiates the most heavenly scent. The recipe called for many of the same ingredients as my other potion, the one I'd slowly grown accustomed too, but the idiosyncrasies are enough, I hope.

I cannot be sure if my endeavors will be successful, but the only way I shall know for sure is if I test my concoction. Tomorrow I plan to descend into my cabinet on its usual setting and see how it turns out. I will not stock the chambers with guests; I'll merely test my memory on my men.

20. March 1859

I have made an incredible but slightly disturbing break through. Upon descending into my cabinet and ingesting my new potion I underwent the strangest psychological transformation. I experienced fright, sorrow, a sort of love. And no only that, but I hallucinated as well. Or at least, that is the only logical way I can explain what happened.

Usually my sister mind, as I named the person I am in the cabinet after ingesting the memory suppressor, ignores the pleas of Alois, too wary to even look at him. But this time she was more at ease, even with him around. She lit up a candle so she could read the note left on the table, something she never does. She rarely ever explores the cells as it is. But this new potion did something to my brain, I think.

Then a second strange happenstance occurred. She turned around and saw Alois. But it wasn't the monster I so carefully crafted. It was him. From about four months ago. After he began slicing himself up for me, but before I'd really done anything to improve him. My sister mind reacted with fear, but tolerated his presence. He spoke to her, and touched her, which is quite a boggling mystery. When she moved to escape him, he returned to his more potent, present form, and sent two blows at his lover's head.

There lies the third strangest happenstance. When I awoke, the diffuse of the amnesia in my body frightening my arduous monster away, back to his quarters as usual, my body was completely healed, and I felt none of the fatigue I usually encountered during my slog back up to the door of my cabinet. Usually I have to sit and rest, but I felt full of vigor. And I often have to tend to my wounds, especially after being attacked by Malo, but there were none, not even a bruise where Alois' fist struck the side of my head.

There is something curious in my potion. I will experiment with it and pinpoint what exactly is changing the way my sister mind acts.

1859

I was not entirely sure how my sister mind would react to the altered conditions, so I changed the recording slightly. I wanted to know if the hallucinations only occurred with Alois, or if the others would induce them as well.

Admittedly, I also enjoy the sensation of remembering emotions that I've never experienced before. It is curious, a new world to study and perhaps spread to other parts of my life. But now is not the time to discuss that, I still have yet to perfect my potion, and discover what is inducing these emotion-fueled responses in my sister mind.

Last trip to the closet the memory suppressing element was too weak, and I had to add more of my more…potent ingredients. I also added more vitae, just to gauge my body's reaction to it. I still am not completely sure as to the effects, but I think there is a direct correlation to my sister mind's emotional stability.

Today I instructed my sister mind to keep away from the Alois monster. She did exactly as she was told. The first odd happening was when she pulled the lever to kill the first man. I was correct when I told her that it was imperative that she pull the lever three times, but that I didn't tell her what it did. And threatening her with the monster was a nice touch. She sobbed as she watched the spike descend on the man's torso. I didn't know who it was, a random innocent that I pulled off the street for my purposes.

The second killing showed an interesting change in her behavior. After the man, I've grown fond of putting priests in that box, informed her that she'd burn for what she was doing she grew angry and gained a morbid pleasure from tearing him apart.

The monster again frightened her. My guests' words in particular seem to have some sway over her. As it was, darling Basile found her, and again the hallucinations took place. The peeved but not wrathful man (the version of him from four months prior) was angry at first, but he seemed surprised at my sister mind's reactions. I wonder whether he thought it was not me or whether he just liked this warm doppelgnger as a replacement for the woman he'd once courted.

He held her for a short while, but when she pulled away he reverted back to his monstrous self, 'killing' her in one blow.

Again I woke up feeling fine, with no injuries, and headed back up the stairs. I am enthralled by this beautiful puzzle. I will work it out, continue to put my sister mind through these tests, and discover how this potion affects my psyche.

I will discover how this works. I will best this challenge. Because I am _the_ Lady Justine Florbelle. I am a winner.

8. April 1895

My progress has been slowed by an unexpected illness. Thankfully I was fit enough this morning to take a venture down to my dear cabinet. Since I was still wary about how the potion would affect me, I altered my phonograph message again, instructing myself on how to pass to the third and final test on the properties of the odd hallucinations. Malo. The man who'd gone mad five months into his capture. He'd shown the signs of his oncoming madness long before I took him in. And it wasn't the love struck madness of Alois. It was pure, disturbingly self destructive insanity. He began to gnaw at his own flesh, despite the fact that I so kindly provided them with a meal every day.

I exaggerated the importance of passing the first two tests and finding Malo, and my sister mind reacted accordingly. Fright trumps compassion. She tolerated Malo well enough, with a slightly terrified regard about her. She had only the faintest inkling of who he was, but she attempted to react to his jests with wit. Malo quickly reverted to his more…uncivilized tendencies, and my sister mind first tried to reason away his behavior, thinking him lonely. It wasn't until he blatantly expressed his wishes that she reacted. I do think he managed to take a few bites out of my body before I woke up, because I have a certain soreness around my shoulder areas, and a tenderness in my upper arms.

I don't think high dosages of the vitae and the memory suppressants should be used at one time. All my sister mind experienced was fear and distrust. Which leads me to my conclusion. The vitae is what produces the emotions. My next hypothesis to be tested is that the vitae also is responsible for the increased healing speed and the rejuvenation. I think that the reason for the hallucinations is my choice in distilled blood.

As my lovers are the only reliable source for steady draining, I have been tapping into them. I think that the spike in my fearful emotions when the monsters are closing in on me are another factor. They make my blood run faster, which in turn would send the ingested vitae that's entered my blood stream dashing through my body's veins. I can't say why they suddenly revert back to their other forms the moment my sister mind tries to escape, however. That will have to be examined.

Perhaps I take a dose of straight vitae with morning tea tomorrow and ditch the amnesia potion. I'll herd my little boys back into their cells and examine the effects of the liquid on my psyche. This will be an amazing advancement in my understanding of my mind.


End file.
